Surviving the Toxic Workplace
Workplace abuse is alive and well… and swept readily under the carpet.
This I know because I have been engaged with people facing mortifying abuse at work and crumbling under the stress of finding a solution.
Help is far because the current workplace typically favors aggressive personalities who are eager to climb the corporate ladder, aware that their inappropriate behavior will have zero consequence.
Don’t wait to be pulled out of the sinking ship.
If you must remain in your current workplace, the focus should not be on surviving, but thriving. There’s no one-size-fits-all guidebook but here are some reliable ways to put your optimism into action.
RESPOND, DON’T REACT
Reactions come from a fragile place. Chances are you want to yell back or storm out or throw things. Don’t. Because it is what’s expected of you- to stoop down to the same level of crass interaction and negative slurry everyone is sinking in. It solves nothing but destroys you.
Respond, instead. At first instance, stay calm and collected, assess the situation. But make note and do not let it go. The second time, don’t let it pass. Make sure you speak loud and clear that you will not accept any kind of verbal abuse. It means you’re putting something positive out there and refusing to give in to harassment. You are raising the bar.
HONESTY & OWNING YOUR TRUTH
I don’t become best buds on day one with everyone in the pantry. Nor do I scurry around for tasty office gossip. That doesn’t make me a saint. Nor does it ensure everyone’s on my boat.
But do make honest interactions and give your colleagues your best self. If you feel cornered, make sure you can talk about it with someone you trust. Write a journal. Record your true experience. Don’t allow people to instill self-doubt in you. Own your truth, even if nobody else is visibly being abused. And never fear the abuser. (S)he is a weakling with a fragile ego.
DRAW A BOUNDARY & CONFRONT
‘Don’t talk to me like that.’
Get up and say it. With a straight face and zero aggression. Nothing draws a boundary better than speaking your mind clearly. And make sure people hear you. Once you say it, it won’t be so hard the next time. But we all know, most toxic people refuse to get the hint and fall all over your boundaries again. Well, now you can raise your voice.
TRUST PEOPLE
Shaping our outlook to adapt with an office ideology to advance as a professional is a healthy challenge. Ignoring or letting go of constant abuse is self deceit.
There will likely be more people by your side than you think. So take a chance. Approach whoever you think is responsible for taking a stand and eventually improving the situation. Don’t wait till someone gives you the permission to speak up or to walk through the illusion of hierarchy in your office. It’s your fight and you take the decisions. If they want you, they’ll keep you anyway. You have nothing and everything to lose.
If your position is anything like mine, they’ll keep you.
SO, WHY YOU?
Poor leadership. Manipulation. Narcissism.
A toxic workplace is a goldmine of what not to become in life. The most toxic people in my workplace had the unhealthiest home lives- thereby lacking healthy support systems to help them feel complete. This coupled with poor coping mechanism is a recipe for disaster.
So, understand your worth. Build healthy relationships. Use your Emotional Intelligence.
Ask yourself. Did you choose the wrong team or office? Was your behavior misinterpreted? Will you detect the first signs of abuse at the very onset the next time?
Fight fire with fire, they say. Find your fire, I say. For when you do, you’ll need nothing else to light the way.
Good luck with your sanity.
Originally published at https://www.linkedin.com.
