5 ways to ace Active Listening on 7Cups
When there’s an online self-help portal involving real humans on either end of the spectrum, the Internet is definitely winning.
Described as an ‘on-demand emotional health service and online therapy provider’, 7 Cups is the brainchild of clinical psychologist Glen Moriarty.
The ‘members’ or the ‘guests’ who need to address a specific personal issue are connected to suitable ‘listeners’. The listeners are skilled at ‘actively listening’, through a thorough training session on the website.
In addition, 7Cups also provides a database of self-help guides addressing mental health issues, professional online counselors for a fee and heavily moderated group support chats.
It’s beautiful how it works solely on the empathy of people.
I found 7Cups on a very sad day, as most people do. My very first listener was phenomenal, so I got sucked right into it, becoming a ‘Verified Listener’ shortly after.
Safe to say, being a listener makes me tick. It enables me to bring value to someone’s day without having to leave my personal space.
But I got lucky that day. Oftentimes, the members I meet are frustrated by the harrowing experience of finding a compatible listener- and that’s only partly because of the long waiting times.
The listeners are not professionally trained and have restrictions, although they intend to help. Despite the training, most aspects of listening remain intangible. And just like real life, making the right connection can take time. This poses a major hurdle for anyone who desperately wants to talk.
So in this post I’d like to share my two cents on how to ace active listening. Anyone who’s already a seasoned listener could elaborate on this and the rest could surely give it a try!
1. ONE WINDOW AT A TIME.
‘Multitasking= positive word on the CV’
So twisted, so wrong. Multitasking is not about doing things simultaneously but organizing tasks one after the other without losing focus.
The temptation split yourself to serve the maximum number of chat windows can be strong. It’s possible too, if you’re okay making multiple members wait in anxiety for your response or give just a fraction of your attention to each chat window. I mean, what could it feel like to be a juggling ball when you expect empathy? Don’t be a juggler, focus on one chat window at a time. Preserve yourself and give your 100%.
2. CHOOSE YOUR NICHE.
‘Keep your options open.’
Pretty awful advise in the age of social media marketing. The big struggles today are :
(a) having a hundred irrelevant tabs open internally and externally.
(b) inability to find any respite from (a).
Focus is a rare quality. When a member talks to a listener, he expects focus. Someone who is equipped to deal with the topic, without being triggered by it. Someone who listens to every word without judgement or zoning out. So, know the topics you can handle and handle them well. You don’t need to sign up for all of them but make sure you constantly read up on your topics and update your listener profile accordingly.
3. DON’T BE A BOT. DON’T GET TOO PERSONAL.
The demand for listeners can be high on 7Cups, so a bot called “Noni” appears on the chat window during the wait. Though Noni has a face and good manners, it is still a talking online formality, matching you to a suitable listener. After the very sterile opening, members expect a human.
7Cups prescribes opening lines that you may use but beyond that, don’t be an answering machine. It makes sense to not sound too casual or entertain personal questions but do ask questions that are engaging and encourage the member to talk more. That chat-room is the only available communication tool so make use of it, we must.
4. LISTENING IS NOT A TIME-KILLER.
You need the right frame of mind while listening. So when you are low on time and energy, it reflects on your listening ability, no matter ho preachy I may sound saying so.
Being a Listener is neither a job or a hobby or a time-killer (go figure!) but it sure requires you to be empathetic and tuned in. Nobody is comfortable with a self-sacrificing listener who cannot handle himself. So limit yourself to when you feel happy, energized and have some time at hand to gain some fulfillment from this activity. Not in an overcrowded metro and not during a ten minute work-break. Keep your cup full.
5. ACCEPT THAT YOU CANNOT HELP EVERYONE.
One can never judge the full extent of what the member feels or wants. Even if you are willing to go the mile and know how to handle the situation, you may encounter people who don’t believe in your ability, probe you for personal information or cannot be reasoned with. People are people.
If you think the situation is beyond your control, stop the chat before it turns sour. Not everyone seeking help is in the frame of mind to explain themselves and that’s fine. Because you are ready, doesn’t mean the world is.
The end. I’d strongly recommend 7Cups, irrespective of how you want to get involved. It is a very intimate yet detached way of connecting with people. And if you think there is more to add here, hit me up!
